Style, flair, individuality---panache!  It's the quality we usually acquire in our middle years when we no longer fear being different.  Panache is a lot older than that tired buzz word, charisma, and is more exterior.  Its original meaning was an ornamental addition, a tuft of plumes on a helmet.  Henry IV of England, Henry of Navarre, allegedly roused his troops with the battle cry, "Let my white panache be your rallying point."  I'll venture a guess that the expression "a feather in your cap" evolved from the word's origin.

 Pablo Picasso was visiting an exhibition of children's drawings and observed, "When I was their age, I could draw like Raphael, but it took me a lifetime to learn how to draw like them.  You see, it takes a long time to grow young."  (Picasso fathered his last child, Paloma, at age 68, and was painting on the day of his death at 92).

My daring came late in life, partly because I was a stutterer in my early years. I was afraid to raise my hand in class at the private boarding school my parents chose, even though I knew the answer to the teacher's question.  I did not want to be different.  In fact, the only thing I liked about the school was the uniform, a white blouse and navy blue jumper.  We all looked alike, and
I found that comforting then.  I thought about joining the army when I grew  up, but I had learned in childhood that I was not good at following orders.

 It takes self-assurance to develop your own style, the joie de vivre that usually comes with maturity.  We can ripen at thirty, fifty, or seventy. It's not  a dead end.  "Maturity is a place you never actually reach," says Dr. Edward Stainbrook, founder of USC's School of Human Behavior, "Just be sure  you're on the right road to do it.  Check your direction, not the calendar."

 It's all a conspiracy, you know, this age business. When the eternal Zsa Zsa  Gabor was asked which of the Gabors is the oldest, the outlandish Hungarian  replied, "Well, she'd never admit it, but it's Mama."  Zsa Zsa's always had panache.  Questioned on how many husbands she's had, Gabor inquired, "You mean apart from my own?"

 I've always been opposed to counting age chronologically, even as a youngster.  Coming from a theatrical family I noted that the actors we entertained at dinner parties always looked younger than my school teachers, though they were in the same generation. What made the difference was  pizzazz, a grand manner, an outrageous sense of humor.

 This is a fact: the whole world notion of slowing down, doing less, feeling older, and finally retiring came from Otto von Bismarck, first chancellor of the German empire.  Life expectancy in Germany in the 1890s was in office.  Only now is the figure being challenged and upped.  (By the year 2000 one in eight Americans will be 65 of older).

 People with panache don't seem to age.  Their flair for life grows more colorful as they add new dimensions, accept new challenges, remain curious.  You can dress and adorn your body, "…but style is the vehicle the spirit." So wrote English essayist Sydney Smith more than 150 years ago. And style is not the result of formal education or wealth.  I've known grammar school dropouts who are sparkling stars, and Ph.Ds who are black holes with no ball of energy inside. And as Shakespeare's King Henry VI, Part II declares, "Whose large style agrees not with the leanness of his purse.

 Panache can be shown in a gesture. Audrey Hepburn told me a story about  her first meeting with Cary Grant (and Audrey had in it spades!): "Stanley Donen (the director of  "Charade" 1963) arranged this dinner so Cary and I  could meet.  I was a bit nervous, and I just accidentally happened to knock over my wine glass. Cary was wearing pale gray flannel and it was red wine.
I ruined his suit!  I felt just awful.  And he knew it. He mopped it up very nonchalantly.  The next day he sent me a box of candy to show he didn't mind, which was adorable." Now that's style!

You don't have to be a wit to have panache, but it helps:  Noel Coward,  Dorothy Parker, Groucho Marx, just for starters, still are frequently quoted. Sending a note to the hostess of a boring dinner party he attended, Marx wrote: "I've been to a lot of wonderful parties, but this wasn't one of them." A wealthy society matron in Houston, Texas likes to remark, "I married well and divorced better."

I think you're born with class, but you can develop panache. And keep developing it.  Don't slow down; if anything, speed up.  "The course of aging  is not time-locked," says UCLA brain researcher, Dr. Arnold B. Scheibel.  "It is possible for an 80-year-old to have a 30-year-old brain."  The secret is use.  "We know for a fact that dendrites are lost when they're not used," says   Scheibel.  "Keep challenging your mental and emotional capacities.  Learn a  new skill, study a new project, fall in love!"

 The word famous cellist Pablo Casals was asked why in his 90s he was still  practicing six hours a day.  He answered, "Because I think I'm making progress."  (Casals lived to age 97.)

 You can have panache in any field. Gen. George Patton had it.  Donald  Trump has it.  (Bill Gates does not have it.).  Love him or hate him, Howard Stern has it.  People with panache tend to be leaders, trend-setters, standouts from the crowd.  Elton John, Little Richard, and Tina Turner have it.  Lauren Bacall had it at 19 and still has it over 50 years later.  The late Princess Diana
 had it, but Prince Charles never did.  So if you have it, flaunt it, baby, flaunt
 it.  Vive le panache!

    ©Angela Fox Dunn (7-12-98)